On the surface was all the anger and the resentment and the upset, all the job. And then always, always, always, what was underneath all the upset was a tremendous amount of hurt. And always what was under the hurt was the love. We wouldn’t be upset if we didn’t care. So one thing became very obvious ,very quickly. And that is that love. Never, never, never, never, never is love enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people that love each other.
Have you ever had a relationship with somebody where you knew that the two of you love each other, but your relationship was a disaster? If I love you, but I treat you lousy, what good is my love for you? It’s worthless. So what if I love you. So the thing that matters in relationships is not the love, it’s the experience of love. If I interact with you in a way that has you feel loved, our relationship will be great. And if I interact with you in a way that has you feel unloved, our relationship will be a mess. So if I want my relationship with you to be great, it’s up to me. I need to make sure you feel loved.
So what creates the experience of love, there’s something that creates the experience of love. And there’s something that kills it, what creates it. What creates the experience of love is given the gift of acceptance and appreciation. And acceptance is nothing more than letting you be you which you’re going to be anyway. Pick somebody in your life that very difficult to accept. Okay, well notice isn’t that person exactly the way that person is? Isn’t that person exactly the way that person is whether you like it or not? Well, acceptance literally is nothing more than surrendering to the truth.
And surrendering to the truth, letting somebody be the way they are, doesn’t mean you got to live with them, you can let them be the way they are, and be that way somewhere else. Surrendering to the truth allows you to see the truth, which then allows you to see what you need to do based on what the truth is. So back to our relationship. If I genuinely accept you for who you are, how does it feel? What feels great, you feel empowered, you feel better about yourself, you feel better about life, your walls, your protection, come down. And then automatically as I genuinely accepted, appreciate you for just who you are just the way you are automatically.
How do you then feel towards me? Notice that you respond you automatically, you become accepted and appreciated for me. And it’s not something you think about it’s just an automatic natural reaction, I give love, love comes right back. And then as you give it to me, I feel empowered, I feel better about myself in my life. And then I feel better about you, and then you feel better about me.
And then I feel better about you and you feel better about me. And then we create that cycle of loving, supporting and empowering each other. That brings out the absolute best in everybody. And that’s the way most romantic relationships begin. But they usually don’t stay that way. The reason they don’t stay that way, is because it’s just a matter of time, until somebody is hurt from the past gets triggered. So you and I have this relationship sparks fly, and everything’s wonderful. But it’s just a matter of time into my hurt gets triggered. And then when my hurt gets triggered, I’m not going to notice that I’ve got a nerve that’s being triggered.
The only thing that I’m going to notice is what triggered it, which is you. So clearly you are the problem. So then, automatically, I’m going to become non accepting judgmental critical of you. And that’s what destroys law. You need to change what’s your problem, what is the matter with you is I become non accepting, judgmental, critical towards you, you get hurt, you get upset, you put up your walls for protection. And notice how automatically, you give it right back to me. And then I give it more to you and you give it more to me and I give it
There are many people that got married only because of love but are now regretting that decision. They were blinded by love, but marriage performed a miracle in their eyes, now they can clearly see their mistakes
Factors to be consider before you marry or enter in a relationship.
no marriage can survive without love. anger irritation ressentiment quarrel, frustration, are inevitable when there is lack of love. love is one of the vital pillar that sustain a marriage but as we all know that one pillar doesn’t sustain or hold a building,other pillars are needed.
apart from love, another important Factor to consider is compatibility, lack of compatibility is the leading cause of divorce around the world compatibility is defined as when two things are capable of existing together in harmony
3: the will of God :
will of God is another factor to be considered before you marry anyone .The will of God in marriage is simply the person who God approved for you to marry
water get level, shoes get size, clothes get size and so do you when it come to marriage everyone is not your size
5: Good Character:
there ladies that are so in love with their guys that abused them physically, emotionally, psychologically and otherwise yes there will not leave them because of love these guys beat them blue and black, disrespect them and do all manner of things to them but they are still stuck with them.
by definition agreement is the state of being of one opinion about something or Harmony of opinion, action or character. these are issued that a couple need to be in agreement on if they will navigate the ocean of marriage successfully, take for instance ,a feminist and a non feminist . these two people are difference in opinion, when it comes to submission, order and leadership in marriage .if they are not in agreement in this area ,what do you think will happen?.
marriage is a yoke ,it yolk two people of the same kind with the same purpose together, a Believer an unbeliever is an unequal yoke, because, the both of them are different. they carry different natures and have different purpose, so ask yourself, can I be yolked with the person there won’t be any problem.
so this are the factors you need to consider before you went into marriage no matter how much you love someone, if this factor are not checked, I bet you there will be problem
Thanks for reading, share to educate others, don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section, see you next time and have a blessed day