A possessive relationship isn’t a fair nor equal cooperation. It’s a form of power. When one mate thinks the other belongs to them, they let their violent fear of losing them turn into rage and covetousness. Learning how to identify this geste is so important to your internal health and physical well- being.
A possessive relationship isn’t sweet. It isn’t full of love and love. It is n’t what great love stories are made of. In fact, jealous connections veritably frequently lead to violent dysfunction, manipulation, and indeed abuse. There really is nothing positive about a jealous relationship, yet it seems to be commodity that’s glamorized by numerous.
Allowing that someone loves you enough to do anything to keep you with them seems endearing at first. But, it’s one thing to make someone happy and another to be controlling, manipulative, and indeed dangerous about that desire.
Signs of possessiveness in relationship
1* They Stand In The Way Of Your Pretensions
Consider your mate jealous if they try to fit mistrustfulness into any plans that do n’t involve them or that might open doors, like going back to academy, traveling abroad for work, or starting a new hobbyhorse. “ A mate who stands in the way of your particular pretensions is frequently deeply jealous, “ Healthy mates want us to be our stylish, fullest characters — not limited performances of who we‘could’ be.”
Again, this frequently comes back to instability. “ Mates who are jealous tend to be limiting in their mindsets and actions, They frequently say or do effects that give you the feeling that you ’re on a short leash.” They ’re hysterical if you grow or change you might want to leave — indeed if that was noway on your mind
2* They Get Upset When You Visit friends
A lot of possessiveness can be chalked up to an insecure attachment style. “ One form of insecure attachment is called‘ abstracted attachment,’in which a person is exorbitantly concentrated on conserving closeness and hypersensitive to any hint at abandonment.
This is why they freak out whenever you try to have fun without them. “ Time with someone is interpreted as taking down from the primary relationship, commodity to be contended with, Again, you do n’t have to be their therapist, but it may help to admit their concern by assuring them all is well and you ’ll be back latterly.
3* They Have Unrealistic Prospects
Are you anticipated to check in at a certain time? Answer their call on the first ring? Or hang out with yourS.O. every single night? While it might be nice at first that your mate “ cares” so much, this is yet another sign of possessiveness. Time piecemeal is an element of a healthy relationship, after all.
4*They Get Super Jealous
While some position of covetousness is bound to do in a relationship, take note if yourS.O. is appreciatively consumed by it. As long as you have n’t broken their trust — in, you know, actually cheating on them — also covetousness is probably due to instability or a poisonous need for control.
A jealous mate might also get jealous about your history when they hear about who you dated or how numerous people you ’ve hooked up with. “ This is particularly jealous/ controlling because there’s nothing you can do about it, “ You ca n’t undo the history. You did n’t cheat. You did n’t do anything wrong. It’s used to smirch you and make you be on the guard.” Generally, this type of covetousness is full-on poisonous and might be a sign you should end the relationship.
5*They Text You Continuous
Still, consider it a red flag, If you always have 100 textbooks and missed calls from yourpartner.However, it’s a good sign they can not trust you, It also demonstrates their need to be the center of attention in your world indeed when you are physically piecemeal, “ If your mate is constantly reaching out while you are gone.”
By constantly reaching out, they ’re dismembering your capability to completely enjoy other aspects of your life. And that’s not OK. “ Having a mate who does not admire your boundaries means you will noway be suitable to get your requirements met. A jealous mate who does not admire your boundaries is unintentional to give you what you need in order to watch for yourself and what you eventually need to make the relationship thrive.
Cause of Possessiveness in relationship
Before you tie your hipsterism and made up your mind to solve any problem, you need to understand easily the causes that lead one to be jealous by nature
1* Lack of trust
Lack of trust in any relationship can lead to possessiveness. But then trust and love are equally related because it isn’t necessary if a person loves the other he/ she also trusts him/ her. Maybe two people could love each other but that doesn’t mean they trust each other. This feeling could beget possessiveness.
2*Lack of one’s space
Each person needs some space in his/ her life and no bone should come within that limited space. If one does also surely it’s only going to hurt the relationship in the long run.
3* Hidden fears
Possessiveness can also be because of some unknown retired fear in the minds. For case, the veritably fear of losing someone special from one’s life makes him/ her jealous by nature.
When one becomes jealous by nature also he/ she also doubts the relationship. He/ she feels insecure and does effects which should be avoided. This further splits the relationship into corridor.
Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. Solicitations have no consummations and the more one desires the more one becomes jealous. This adds energy to the fire.
Ways to stop being possessive in relationship
Being jealous over your mate can only damage a relationship. There are numerous reasons why people might feel jealous, including having trust issues, being jealous, or having low tone- regard. Then are some tips to keep effects in perspective if you feel yourself or your mate twisting into a jealous state.
1* Don’t spy
It’s OK to admit — everyone’s done it! Checking emails of an account that’s been left open, scrolling through transferred textbook dispatches, poring the cybersurfer history … It might feel normal and inoffensive, but it’s creating cracks in the relationship. You easily suppose there’s commodity to find, and that hurts the trust you have (or should have) for your mate. Not to mention, it’s really awkward if they catch you! Keep yourself busy. Do commodity in another room while they ’re on the phone so you ’re not tempted to overhear. Make sure you each sign out of your dispatch accounts before leaving the computer. Over time, if you do n’t have chances to asset, it’ll slip from your mind and you ’ll stop feeling the appetite to keep tabs on your mate.
2* Forget about the past.
Perhaps you ’ve been cheated on or prevaricated to ahead, but this is a new relationship. Do n’t let the once ruin what you have going for you now. Your mate is a different person than your partner, and deserves a fresh launch. Not to mention, you ’ll feel better if you let the history go! You ca n’t change anything that’s formerly happed, so release the once hurt and concentrate on the relationship you ’re in now.
3* Trust your mate (and yourself).
Frequently people feel insecure about others because they ’re projecting commodity they see in themselves. You might worry that your mate flirts when he or she goes out with musketeers because you flirt when you go out withfriends.However, you should be suitable to trust your mate to do the same — it’s only fair, If you trust yourself to only flirt and not go beyond that.
4* Don’t be tyrannous.
The further you worry your mate does n’t love you or is n’t being honest with you, the more you’ll push him or her down. No bone wants to be with a indigent person, so do n’t pile all your fears and worries about love on your mate. Trust that they love you because they ’re choosing to be in a relationship with you. Let them go out without you, and do n’t give them the third degree when they comehome.However, they might wonder what it’s worth to be good, If you make your mate feel like they ’ve done commodity bad indeed when they have n’t.
5* Try to find the root of the problem.
Why do you feel jealous in your relationship? Whether it’s a fear from a once relationship, or indeed commodity that happed in nonage, you need to figure out what’s causing you to feel and act this way. It’ll help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel more and will help unborn connections.
6* Live your own life.
This goes hand in hand with not beingoverbearing.However, your own pursuits, and your own social life, If you have your own job. It’s important to spend time together, of course, but it’s also delightful to spend time piecemeal and have different effects to partake and talk about when you ’re together.
7*Do n’t try to change your mate.
You knew who your mate was when you got involved in the relationship — why do you want to change him or her now? Telling yourself that the other person needs to change could just be your easy answer to any problem you might be having in the relationship.
8* Don’t let covetousness eat you alive.
Jealousy isn’t only a fast relationship killer, but it’ll make you feel bitter and spiteful in your diurnal life. That green-eyed monster is quick to cut you down and make you feel empty. Turn that station into commodity positive by realizing that your mate is with you because you ’re a great, quality person all on your own. You do n’t need to be jealous about anyone differently they may be spending time with. Make sure you know your tone- worth and realize that your mate is lucky to be with you.
9* Know each other’s frends
A great way to keep from being jealous is to be familiar with each other’s socialcircles.However, you ’ll know there’s no reason to worry, If you know who your mate is spending time with. An added perk is that you might like their frends and want to spend time with them as well.
Is possessiveness good in a relationship?
Possessiveness stems from mistrust, precariousness, control issues and nothing about it, in any form, is healthy or desirable. Like a man calling and communicating his woman constantly to find out where she’s and what time she’s returning. Defensive is when you admire your woman, and jealous is when you mistrust her.
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