What cause a person to (gaslight)?:How to Spot a Gaslighter

One of the most common reasons people gaslight is to gain power over others. This need for domination may stem from narcissist, asocial personality, or other issues. Like most cases of abuse, gaslighting is about control.

As gaslighting progresses, the target often alternate- suppositions their own memories and thought. Their self- doubt may put them on the protective, precluding them from censuring the abuser’s behavior
. The target may rely on the abuser to corroborate their memories. This trust can give the abuser more occasion to manipulate their target.

What cause a person to gaslight

Over time, the abuser may move the target that they behavior the abuser’s aggression. The target’s efforts to apologize and repair the relationship often feed the abuser’s pride. Yet the target’s submission infrequently offers lasting satisfaction. Someone with narcissistic personality may come “ addicted ” to gaslighting, demanding further control to keep up their self- regard.

Why Do People Gaslight?

The goal is always to weaken resistance, break spirits, appear impeccable, and produce chaos and confusion in the mind of the “ gaslight- tee. ” Gaslighting is n’t an insulated or occasional event. It’s an insidious and patient pattern of behavior
that keeps you questioning yourself and those around you while sluggishly eroding your self- regard and even your identity.

“ There are two main reasons why a gaslighter behaves as they do, It’s either a planned effort to gain control and power over another person, or it because someone was raised by a parent or parents who were gaslighters, and they learned these actions as a survival medium.

READ ALSO: RELATIONSHIP GASLIGHTING

How to Spot a Gaslighter

Gaslighters need control and power. In a relationship, they need to be in charge, and they need to be right about everything, routinely assessing their judgments on you. A gaslighter’s tactics — constantly censuring, condemning, making verbally abusive statements, intimidation, denial of responsibility, minimizing abusive behavior
, and publicizing dissatisfaction with a relationship — may be subtle at first.

You may not smell something is deeply wrong until you find yourself being in a never – ending state of confusion and self doubt. Gaslighters are blamers, using lines like, “ You made me do it ” or “ I did it because you would n’t hear to me. ” They may charge you of having issues or requirements that they actually have, similar as suggesting you ’re not being honest with yourself. They may find ways to take credit for your accomplishments. When a gaslighter gives a compliment or reason, it’s often backhanded “ You look nearly as good as you did when I first met you ” or “ I ’m sorry you feel that way.

How do you recognize that gaslighting is happening?

Take a look at the list below.However, you may be involved in a gaslighting relationship and need to look further, If any part of the list resonates with you.

You ask yourself, “ Am I too sensitive? ” numerous times per day.

You often feel confused and even crazy in the relationship.

You ’re always apologizing.

You ca n’t understand why you are n’t happier.

You constantly make excuse for your mate’s behavior
.

You know something is wrong but you just do n’t know what.

You start lying to avoid put- downs and reality twists.

You have effort making simple opinions.

You wonder if you’re good enough.

How to recognize that gaslighting is happening

What causes someone to gaslight you?

1* Gaslighting is a form of manipulation,

so the reasons are varied. Generally speaking, people do it to impact or to control someone. People can no longer have people committed to a internal institution like they used to, but they can cause extreme doubt in one’s self confidence and judgement so that they come dependent on the gaslighter and do n’t trust their own capability to make opinions. They’re convinced that they’ve to do whatever the gaslighter tells them because they’ve no confidence in their own opinions, presently.

2* They just want to do whatever they want to do.

That’s really each it is.

So when you say, “ My friend saw you out at lunch with another woman, ” they simply answer, “ No, she did n’t. It was n’t me. ”

When you say, “ Why did you act like you were n’t with me when we ran into a friend of yours? ”

They say, “ That’s all in your head. Stop being so insecure. It’s really monstrous. ”

When you say, “ Why were n’t you at work like you said you were? I drove in and your car was n’t there. ”

They say, “ I was parked around the back of the building. You mustn’t have looked there. And why are you spying on me? You do n’t trust me! ”

Every time you catch them doing something that they do n’t want you to know about, their gut response is to condemn you, shame you and make you feel crazy- because it works. You start defending yourself rather of holding them to the facts and ahead long, you find yourself apologizing.

3* They’ve massive precariousness about identity


They do n’t know what theirs is because they ’ve never explored themselves. Much easier to present a false self, a mask, to society and challenge other people than check your own self.

READ ALSO: SIGNS OF GASLIGHTING UN A RELATIONSHIP

4* They want you to believe you’re crazy for their own benefit

whatever that may be. You may own property they want, money,etc. and if they can get you certified as crazy, and unskillful to handle your things, they can take over your money, property,etc., and spend it, vend it, do whatever they want with it. They’re trying to make you think you you’re losing your mind. Someone who gaslights you is evil and insidious and has bad intentions.

What cause a person to (gaslight)?:How to Spot a Gaslighter

5* They do n’t know honesty and they do n’t know their truth

You d, So they want you to carry their insecurities for them, so they can disown them. They ’re unpacking their emotional baggage over the fence on to your patch for you to deal with. if you allow them.

How To Deal With Gaslighting

1* Do not worry about trying to” outsmart” the gaslighter.

The best way to outsmart a gaslighter is to disengage. You can show up to the discussion with a mountain of substantiation, vids, recordings, and more, and a gaslighting person will still find a way to redirect, minimize, or deny. It’s more worth it to walk down with your perception complete.

2* Stand firm in your truth.

The goal of gaslighting is to have the entering person doubt their perception. For the person who’s doing the gaslighting, their thing may be to avoid responsibility while sluggishly causing you to foster an emotional dependence on them. This creates immense internal confusion, which also chips down at your capability to trust yourself and your own memory.

To combat this, stand firm in your truth. That means believing in yourself, your feelings, and what you know to be true. It means retaining your perception( i.e., what you saw, heard, and felt). It sounds like” I know what I saw” or” Do not tell me how to feel; this is how I feel.

What causes someone to gaslight you?

3* Write things down.

To help you base yourself in your own truth, it can be helpful to write things out as they’re happening. Journal about your behavior , and get into the habit of reviewing your jottings. Keep a record of what’s happening. A journal is a great way to maintain a record of what’s happening over time. This will help you feel confident about what you know to be true.

4* Keep the discussion simple.

Know your purpose when entering the discussion. What would you like to negotiate? Resolve? What are the main points that you would like to get across?

A person who’s gaslighting will blatantly lie, shift the narrative, and will minimize how you feel. Entering the discussion knowing your purpose will help you remain centered on a path versus being veered in the different directions that a gaslighting person may take you.

5* Be willing to leave the discussion.

The person doing the gaslighting may also use tactics similar as diverting and minimizing. In these cases, it’s important to exercise self- confirmation and recognize when the discussion is feeling indirect and illegal. Give yourself authorization to leave the discussion when you start to fete signs of your reality being denied and minimized.

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