It is paramount to realize that feeling down at times is a normal part of life. Sad and upsetting events happen to everyone but, if you’re feeling down or hopeless on a regular basis, you could be dealing with depression.
Dealing with depression is an everyday struggle. It’s definitely true that some days are worse than others, but I’ve learned to manage it.
I have been depressed many times. When I recently got a job, I was overwhelmed with joy. I felt the life I envisaged had begun. As the work flowed, alerts never stopped coming before the end of every month.
A year passed, two, and three… Everything was normal. As I lived and worked in what I thought was ‘a dream come true’ for me, I felt the world was mine. To me, then, it was heaven on earth! Time could change anything and, or everything but the maker of the universe.
That day, the rays of the bulb in my room shone so bright as power came. It gave sudden light to the darkness. I woke from my snoring, quickly knelt before the altar, and made some words of prayer to my maker. I was ready to face the day’s challenge! It was 4:27am.
Meeting up appointments, arriving early at work/businesses, in Lagos, requires early rise. I hurried and prepared for work. When I got to the regular bus stop, there was already a multitude of people, waiting for means to get to their destinations. I gaze passed over the faces of the crowd and headed to the BRT Park in Mile 12. Not long, we got to TBS. I alighted and walked hastily to the office. On getting there, some of my colleagues were standing outside. Some were holding a brown envelope, others were with white paper. The looks on their faces were gloomy. I began to wonder what they were doing outside at the supposed working period.
I rushed in, placed my thumb over the attendant machine, it showed a red light indicating non- acceptance. I tried again and got the same result. I was bewildered. I waited for a moment and placed the thumb carefully again and again until a green light followed, signifying approval.
I walked gently to my office. “Good morning Mr. Kingsley” a colleague greeted as his face looked pale. I couldn’t, however, respond to the greeting. Many things crashed through my mind.
“What’s happening?” I managed to ask.
“HR needs your attention” he added. I stood, looking at the ceiling, my two hands akimbo.
As I was still standing helplessly, our door handler gripped, and the door opened. Behold our HR. Although, her high heeled shoe had announced her arrival before she entered. “Good morning Ma’am” I greeted.”
“Good morning Kingsley, I’m so sorry about you losing your job. It is due to some circumstances beyond the company. Sometimes, when things like this happen, it ends up pushing you toward bigger and better things. I’ll pray that God soon shows you what he has planned for you.” She handed an envelope to me. I tried not to cry in front of her but unable to prevent the tears that were starting to form. Immediately she had gone, I let out a loud cry.
That moment, it seemed my world had crumbled. I began to imagine where and how I could start up my life again. I was depressed! I managed to hold my limp body and struggled home.
I tried as much as I could, to get rid of the depression but it kept deteriorating. When it dawned on me that sobbing won’t do any good, I began to live in the present, I started practicing mindfulness, dealing with self-judgment. I began to set new goals, recalling the dream I had years back, thinking of the best possible way to let my childhood dream (becoming my own boss, a businessman) where no employer would suddenly terminate my contract) come to light. It was however, the beginning of a new dawn!
***Piece of word to anyone wallowing in depression; loss of job, feeling of worthlessness, lack of energy, inability to concentrate, preoccupation with death or thoughts of self-harm. etc
Do things you enjoy, allow nature to flow. And you’d be surprised you would come out better!***