A person with physical touch as their primary love language feels love through physical affection. Aside from sex, they feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example. This person’s idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partner physically.
Signs your love language is physical touch.
If someone’s love language is physical touch, they may or may not know it, but they enjoy the release of the ‘feel-good hormones’ our body secretes like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, “Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone. That hormone is the same hormone released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is highly recommended for bonding after childbirth.
1* You love being in a relationship that’s very “touchy”—lots of cuddling, sitting on each other’s laps, putting your arms around each other randomly, that kind of thing.
2* Someone doesn’t need to say “I love you” a bunch for you to feel loved—you can feel it through the way they hold you or kiss you.
3* The little physical gestures like holding hands and resting your head on each other’s shoulders are some of your favorite little things about being in a relationship.
4* When you’re stressed, you feel instantly calmed or relaxed when your partner puts their hand on yours or rubs your shoulders.
5* When your partner is around, you always end up sort of mindlessly touching them—placing a hand on their arm or knee, running your fingers through their hair, or gently rubbing the back of their neck.
Physical touch may also be your love language if you have ever described yourself as, “really touchy feely,” “a really good hugger,” or “kinda a cuddle monster. Usually if touch is your love language in your romantic relationship(s), it’s also one of your love languages in your platonic relationships, too.
READ ALSO: RELATIONSHIP AFFECTION
Is physical touch romantic? Or not
All touch is not created equal. Whether a specific touch is romantic or not usually comes down to who is doing the touching and how it makes you feel.
Touch from someone you have romantic feelings for in a way that’s meant to strengthen your emotional bond or excite you sexually is romantic! Touch between you and someone you have a platonic emotional bond with is not romantic.
Ways to Show Love Using the Physical Touch Love Language
There are many ways to show love to your partner. You can show up to support them at an important fundraiser. You can buy them a gift just because you thought of them. You can squeeze their hand when they are having a stressful day.
Physical touch is just one of the five love languages, according to Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” The others are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gift giving/receiving. All five are important, but since we all give and receive love differently, it’s important to know how you and your partner prefer to express your appreciation.
1* Understand Physical Touch as a Love Language
If your love language is physical touch, then that means you prefer physical expressions of love over all other expressions (such as verbal compliments or gifts).
Note that physical touch as a love language is not all about sex, although sex can be an important aspect of a romantic relationship. A hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handhold, even a pat on the back can be an expression of love that is just as meaningful to your partner.
If you’re in a non-sexual relationship or if you’re unable to have sex with your partner for some reason (long-distance, postpartum, PTSD), don’t worry. We explore easy ways to give and receive physical touch, no matter where you are (physically or mentally) with your partner. This may seem self-explanatory, but there are both intimate and non-intimate touches that can and should be used to show your partner love.
2* Six-Second Kiss
Straight up from the love doctor himself, Dr. John Gottman’s research revealed that a six-second kiss can have an untold positive impact on your relationship.
Have you ever timed your kisses? Give it a try, six seconds might seem longer than you think!
Couples who engage in this ritual daily experience a boost in fondness and admiration, add to their “emotional bank account” by contributing to the 5:1 ratio of positive to negative experiences, and reduce cortisol while boosting oxytocin levels.
Keep your quick kisses, don’t sleep on the six-second kiss in your relationship.
3* The Classic Hug
As a hugger, there is no way I could complete this list without such a classic listed here.
I will say, this is one I appreciate when a stranger or acquaintance will ask “you comfortable with a hug?”
I’ve never said no, and never had anyone tell me they’d rather not, but it’s a show of respect all the same.
This show of physical affection is self-explanatory. Few other gestures are as commonly recognized as a symbol of simple affection, communicating friendship, support, solidarity, and love.
4* Hold Hands in Response
It’s no surprise that holding hands would be found on this list.
However, holding hands in response to something your partner or friend says can have more of a meaningful impact on your relationship.
It doesn’t need to be for a long time. The effect is pretty immediate.
If your partner is driving and stressing about getting somewhere on time… respond by holding their hand.
If your friend just shared their stressful day over coffee… respond by holding their hand.
If your mom smiles and says she’s happy you came to visit… respond by holding her hand.
Holding someone’s hand is a simple act that can communicate deep bonds of fellowship and fondness. There’s a feeling of calm reassurance in this physical touch.
5* Face Touches
This show of love and tenderness can happen in multiple ways.
There’s the classic “you have an eyelash on your face” move that, in my opinion, is way overused in modern rom-coms. But for good reason, it’s an innocent and intimate gesture.
In a special moment of sweetness, you can also place your hands on your partner’s cheek in response to words of affirmation or a bid for closeness.
I also love the parent-to-child familial forehead-to-forehead gesture. My son struggles to comfortably make eye contact and prefers this show of affection.
You can also use a sensual approach, should that be appropriate for the circumstances, and softly trace the lips of your partner with your finger.
It’s all up to you: soft touches of the face – while that sounds silly to read – absolutely communicate that someone is dearly cherished.
Physical touch vs. Sex
If the physical touch Love Language seems to fit you, you probably find sex to be necessary.
That said, it is also helpful to know that sex is not always indicative of love. For example, people may have casual sex outside the context of a committed relationship, with no feelings of love involved.
Think of sex as being just one type of physical affection within the context of a loving relationship, but there are undoubtedly non-sexual ways to show affection by touching each other.
If your Love Language is physical touch, you feel loved and relaxed when your partner is touching you. Sex may fall within the physical touch Love Language, but it doesn’t have to, given that there are so many ways to show physical affection.
Physical touch in long-distance relationships
Another consideration is how to address the issue of physical touch in relationships when you and your partner are long-distance. Being physically distant can certainly make it difficult to know how to show affection with the physical touch Love Language.
Fortunately, there are things you can do to stay physically connected. Giving your partner the gift of a massage, or a soft blanket can help them to associate you with the feeling of physical sensation.
Video chatting can also be helpful for couples involved in a long-distance relationship, as it gives you the opportunity to see each other face-to-face and be more “physically present” with one another. You may blow your partner a kiss to mimic the sensation of physical touch.
If you’re the one who has the primary Love Language of touch, there are also things you can do to have your needs met. For example, you may consider getting a pet to cuddle with, or investing in a body pillow to hug at night.
Treating yourself to regular massages or a massage gun can also help you feel relaxed when your partner isn’t around to calm you with their touch. Physical exercise can also help you to fulfill your need for physical stimulation.
Why is physical touch so important?
When a partner who prefers the physical touch Love Language asks for just a touch of your love, the reality is that they may be strengthening the relationship.
In fact, research shows that the release of the chemical oxytocin makes touch from a romantic partner seem especially valuable.
This helps two people in a romantic relationship to form a bond and stay committed to each other. Receiving physical touch from a partner can also improve your well-being.
Thanks for reading, please share to educate others and don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section. See you next time and have a blissful day.