What Are Words of Affirmation?
Words of affirmation are words that communicate your love, appreciation, and respect for another person. They’re positive words and phrases used to uplift someone. What’s more, these compliments and words of encouragement don’t have to be said directly to the person. A simple hand-written note is appreciated just as much as a personal phone call.
People who give and receive love through words of affirmation tend to be the people who notice and care about the details of other people’s lives. For instance, they may be the first to notice their partner’s new haircut. They also remember to ask the neighbor how their sick dog is doing. They may even remember to ask the cashier at the local supermarket if they are feeling any better.
Words of affirmation don’t have to be fancy. A simple “Thanks for that” or “I appreciate you” goes a long way. You’re acknowledging the effort your significant other is putting into a situation or a moment, and they’ll brighten when they know you notice. It’s a funny thing: It may seem like you’re doing the heavy lifting, giving all those compliments. But you’ll reap the rewards when your loved one feels all the warm fuzzies for you because you’re being so supportive of them. Wins all around! And with this list at the ready, you’ll never run short of affirming things to say.
Examples of words of affirmation
Thank you for listening.
I missed you.
I love how you get me.
I’m so happy to see you.
You’re the best.
No one makes me [laugh as much as/feel as happy/feel as beautiful] as you do.
You’re such a good partner.
You help me feel like I can do anything.
When I’m with you, I’m a better person.
You’re the best [parent /friend/teacher/partner, etc.].
You handled that like a pro.
I value your judgement
I just wanted to let you know I’m proud of you.
I really appreciate you when you do.
I am here if you need me. I’m always in your corner supporting you.
I want to take the time to thank you for how hard you work around our home.
You look amazing. Is that a new outfit?
I am proud of you for always trying your best, whatever it is.
It makes my heart melt watching you take care of me
I value you doing things when you are tired.
You look amazing!
That meal you made was delicious!
I’m so lucky to be with you.
I love that [shirt /hat/dress/etc.] on you!
I love how [smart /funny/kind/organized] you are.
You make my heart sing.
You make everything better
I don’t know what I’d do without you.
I feel so lucky to have you in my life.
Your perspective is invaluable.
Wow! That was incredible!
Your [dinners /backrubs/ideas] are the best.
I love how your mind works.
Want to come with me?
I love how you see things.
I appreciate you.
What a good idea!
Thank you for loving me.
You help me so much.
Thank you for being in my life.
We work so well together.
You’re an inspiration!
I love you.
You are my sunshine.
I’m sorry I hurt you.
I love that you did this for me.
Your being here makes everything better.
It must be so tough to deal with this. How can I help?
I wish I could … like you can.
You are amazing.
You inspire me.
Thank you for taking the time to do this with me.
Our kids are so lucky to have you as their mom/dad.
Your opinion means so much to me.
You’re so considerate.
You really are the best.
You make so many things possible.
I love your company.
You’re a dream come true.
You’re one in a million.
Things feel easier with you here.
You help me in so many ways.
I don’t know what I’d do without you.
Why You Should Speak words to affirmation
For people whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, supportive and complimentary words make them feel the most loved. Actions and physical intimacy are not as important as affirming words. Speaking the Words of Affirmation love language to your partner means finding small or large ways of expressing approval and gratitude for who they are and what they do.
Affirming words are immensely useful when trying to express love
When you receive a compliment or words validating your person or actions, you feel good and respected. The same is true for the people you give affirming words to.
When you show appreciation for your partner, those words embolden them with confidence and contentment.
Within the Words of Affirmation love language are varied dialects, meaning there are different categories of affirming words. Certain types of words of affirmation will strike different chords depending on the dialect your partner speaks. All Words of Affirmation are beneficial to one who speaks this language.
Tips to keep in mind for using words of affirmation:
If words aren’t your thing and love language is words of affirmation, don’t worry.
What matters is that you are tending to your words with care and getting down to the root of why you love your partner when you speak.
1* Focus on the small things.
Not every single affirmation you give must be because of a great deed that your partner/friend did for you. Instead, be generous in your compliments and compliment them even if it was very small.
For example, if your spouse dressed particularly beautifully on one day, just a simple compliment helps, “Wow you look beautiful today! Teach me more about how to improve my dress sense!”
When you look for significant and obvious things in your spouse/friend to compliment, first of all, they are hard to find. This means that you would not be able to give consistent words of affirmation
2*Express them often
Take the time to be verbose without being disingenuous or saying things for the sake of saying them.
If you see a moment to encourage them in some way, go for it. Chapman likens love languages to the analogy of filling a love tank.
Think about it this way: By refueling their appetite for affirmation (with the right fuel!), they will be overflowing with gratitude and approach the relationship from an expansive place when they feel supported.
3*Take some time to think about what you want to say
You don’t necessarily have to give a compliment on the spot, but you can take some time before that to prepare what you want to say.
For some scenarios, such as writing a love letter, it would be a good idea to take some time to think about what you want to write before starting.
4* If saying them out loud is hard, write them out
If it’s hard to tell them in person, you can always use the written word or texts so it gives you more time to measure out your words in an impactful way.
The act of crafting a highly specific and personalized message matters more than repeating a line you heard in a movie or copy and pasting a poem you found online. They will value it infinitely more when it comes from the heart.
5* Know what words your partner likes most
“The trick with words of affirmation is understanding what kind of positive phrases speak directly to your partner,
Some people prefer statements that aren’t directed at their appearance and prefer to be celebrated for their contributions, or they may want more acknowledgment on a day-to-day level.
It’s important to move away from the generalities of the theory and focus on being hyper-targeted with your partner so you can show up in your partnership the way that they need you to, on an individual level.
How to Speak the Words of Affirmation Love Language if It’s Not Your Love Language
You may not understand why affirmation words are important to your partner if they aren’t to you. You may not know which words are the right ones if you never need to hear them. Learning to speak the Words of Affirmation love language can be tricky if you are uncomfortable with affirmation words or don’t understand how to give them. But there are ways to improve your affirmation vocabulary.
1* Keep a notebook of positive words and phrases.
Write down words of affirmation you overhear from others.
Write down words and phrases you hear on television or movies.
You will begin to amass a list of affirming words and phrases from which to draw.
As you start to speak the Words of Affirmation love language, your partner will receive it as love. Your success in creating this love in them will help guide your knowledge of which words are the right words.
2* Speak positively about your partner to others.
If you say affirming things about your partner to others, they will likely lead back to your partner. They will feel your unprompted love and know it was sincere.
If you say affirming things about your partner to others in front of them, it will have the same effect.
3* Always give credit to your partner when something good happens to you.
For instance, if you win an award, give your partner credit for loving you and making your achievement possible.
Your partner likely supports you in more ways than you realize. Acknowledging that fact will fill up their love tank and create intimacy.
How to Make Words of Affirmation a Habit
Even if you are not a words of affirmation person, it is a good idea to make words of affirmation a daily habit. While it might not come naturally, there are things you can do to make offering words of affirmation a habit.
1* Offer encouragement.
Words of affirmation don’t just have to be expressions of gratitude or compliments—they can also focus on words that encourage your partner. When they express interest in something or share one of their goals with you, let them know that you believe in them and support them.
2* Try a pet name
Perhaps you can begin each conversation with the pet name you have your partner. For example, you could say, “Good morning, beautiful” or “How are you, sweet pea?” These terms of endearment may sound corny, but for a words of affirmation person, they can be special.
3* Be yourself
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or say things that you don’t feel. Just give yourself permission to be your authentic self and share what you appreciate about your partner.
Thanks for reading, please share to educate others and don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section.See you next time and have a blissful day.