What is relationship breakdowns?
A relationship breakdown is another term for a breakup.
It’s when the love, trust, and respect that you have built together slowly breaks down and ultimately leads to the termination of your relationship.
Often caused by an unresolvable problem in relationships, couples would usually just want to end everything without trying their best to dig deeper into the issue.
Aside from throwing away your relationship, if there are kids involved, can you imagine the effect this has on them?
How Does A Relationship Breakdown Feel?
Divorce and separation are very common but that doesn’t make them any easier. While the breakdown of your relationship might feel like the end of the world, you’re not alone.
While relationship breakdowns are common, the way people experience them can be very varied. Relationships are complicated, and when they end there are a lot of things to sort out and deal with. Relationship breakdowns can be particularly hard if you didn’t expect them to happen, there are children involved, or your partner was the only person you could open up to.
The end of a relationship can trigger many feelings such as sadness, rejection, loneliness, depression, anxiety, anger, happiness or relief, guilt, shame and even suicidal thoughts.
Warning signs of a relationship breakdown
Noticing early warning signs of relationship breakdown can help a couple resolve conflicts. Early warning signs include
1* Avoidance or withdrawal from partner.
These research findings are very similar, despite completely different couples and research agenda. If you notice that your relationship is experiencing two or more of these signs, maybe it is time to focus your attention to it. An ounce of prevention can save an incredible amount of emotional, financial and physical pain.
2* You don’t communicate enough anymore
An unpleasant relationship is marked by a lack of communication. Both of you may have had lots of topics to discuss at the start of your relationship, but somewhere along the way, you realize you no longer have anything to share with your partner and vice versa.
Communication is the most vital factor in a happy relationship because it allows partners to express their love for one another and exhibit a genuine interest in their partner’s life. Not communicating means you’re probably not working out problems as soon as they arise, which could lead to more issues down the road.
3* You both have different values, beliefs, and objectives
Differing values, views, and goals may indicate a troubled marriage. It’s possible that “opposites attract” is what makes a couple want to marry. Different values, origins, and lifestyles, unfortunately, can soon become huge hurdles in a couple’s growth.
Similar values, hobbies, interests, views, and family backgrounds are nearly rare to discover in a marriage. Couples with comparable values, cultural backgrounds, and lifestyle habits are simpler to comprehend and live with than those who are dramatically different, according to studies.
4* Intimacy has decreased
An unhappy relationship is marked by a lack of closeness. When it comes to having a successful relationship, intimacy is important, but it does not always have to be sexual intercourse.
Physical affection and finding new methods to connect with your partner, such as having breakfast together or planning date nights to rekindle the romance despite a busy schedule, are equally crucial. Shoulder massages, spontaneous hugs, and words of care or encouragement to your partner can all aid in the development of emotional and physical closeness.
5* You are irritated by everything they do
Everything they do frustrates you; this could indicate a dissatisfied relationship. What was once sweet and amusing has now devolved into resentment and disgust, with even minor disagreements escalating into major spats.
Little things such as the way they eat or talk may start to irritate you, and you may develop feelings of animosity toward your partner. When this happens, you should consider why you’re feeling this way and how to address these negative thoughts in your relationship.
6* You would rather be with your friends than with your partner at home
Spending more time with friends than with your partner could indicate a strained relationship. According to studies, successful marriages are ones in which the pair celebrates both their accomplishments and failures. Whether you have big news to tell or negative news to share, opting to share it with your friends and family rather than your partner can indicate that you no longer consider your partner as a rock of support.
Although some time away is important for a relationship, too much can cause problems. If you’d rather spend more time at work and are continually avoiding your partner, you may be unhappy, and you’ll need to dig deeper to figure out why.
7* you have sex less often, or it isn’t what it used to be
one partner spends increasing time on interests and activities outside the relationship
there is a loss of warmth and friendliness in the relationship, one or both of you speak of no longer being in love
8* you don’t do things together as much as before
you have recurring arguments about the same issues that are never resolved
you feel dissatisfied and unhappy
you feel tired and less able to meet responsibilities at work and at home
arguments about the children continue
one of you has an addiction problem that is affecting the relationship.
Way to Avoid a Relationship Breakdown
If you are worried that there has been a breakdown in communication with your spouse, don’t wait until it’s too late to fix it. Here are ways to avoid a relationship breakdown with your partner.
1* Make Time for One Another
Life can get hectic, but that should never be an excuse to ignore your partner.
Of course, work can be stressful and other concerns such as family matters or health issues may prevent you from spending as much time together as you would like, but don’t let this become a habit.
It can be very dangerous to make your partner feel like they are not worthy of your time or that you have chosen work, friendships, or child-rearing above maintaining the health of your marriage.
Couples need to make time for one another, either by scheduling a regular date night, or by creating a routine together. This routine may be talking for an hour before bedtime, sitting down at the table for dinner, or talking over your morning coffee before heading off to work.
2* Avoid airing your problems on social media
Who doesn’t have a social media account?
Today, when you’re hungry or craving something, you post it on your social media account. You have a new phone, car, or a new lover, everyone would know because it’s on your account.
Here’s the thing, don’t air your relationship problems on social media. The reality is, those people don’t care.
3* Show Gratitude
Research shows that many happy couples attribute their healthy relationships to respect and appreciation for one another. This is no surprise since the expression of appreciation to your partner helps foster positive feelings for one another.
You can help avoid relationship issues and keep your marriage strong by expressing kindness, thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation on a daily basis with your spouse. Thank them for the small things they do such as making breakfast or holding the door open for you. Tell them why you love them and what you appreciate about their partnership. Doing so will certainly strengthen your love for one another
4* Avoid jealousy and insecurity
Jealousy and insecurity are like termites in your relationship.
Doubt, jealousy, insecurity, and arguments all will become a part of this endless cycle that will eventually lead to relationship breakdowns.
Your relationship won’t last long if you don’t know how to trust your partner. It hurts when your partner doubts your every move.
5* Prioritize your relationship
You’re busy, and want to get that promotion, you end up realizing that you no longer spend time with your partner.
Eventually, this can make you feel like you are with a stranger, which is one factor that eventually lead to relationship breakdowns.
If you only take one tip from this list to heart, it is this one: in order to avoid relationship issues, you and your spouse must learn to communicate with one another.
Partners who are unwilling to listen, talk, or understand one another are destined for a relationship breakdown. This is unhealthy behavior that tells your partner they are not worth your time or your respect. Why? Misunderstandings commonly occur when partners don’t understand where the other is coming from, or what they are trying to say.
Communication will help you both avoid arguments. It also strengthens your bond and helps you get to know each other better. But, you need to be willing to be vulnerable and put in the work.
Coping / dealing with relationship breakdown
Dealing with a relationship breakdown is one of the toughest experiences we can have. The tremendous feelings of devastation and loss are often worsened by hurtful behaviours that happened before, during, or after the relationship breakdown. Despite this pain, it can be very tempting to hold onto someone who does not want to hold onto us. The thing is, just because one feels love for the other, or is willing to work at the relationship, does not mean the relationship will survive. Ultimately, it takes the efforts of two people for a relationship to work.
1* Do not use your ex-partner as a support person.
You have been used to supporting each other through your relationship, and it might seem natural to support each other through the break up and separation. However this is ill advised, as it makes it much harder to get the space you need to separate emotionally from each other.
2* Give yourself plenty of time.
It’s hard to say how much time, as everyone (and every relationship) is different. One rule of thumb, albeit not appropriate for everyone, is to allow yourself at least one year at minimum, otherwise around one year for every decade of the relationship.
3* Prioritise self care.
This is one of the most necessary strategies, for your health, resilience and mental wellbeing. Treat yourself as someone very important to you, and care for yourself as you would your most cherished dependent. Focus on a healthy diet; daily exercise; enough sleep; good health care; and relaxing, enjoyable and personally meaningful activities.
4* Try positive visualization.
See yourself as recovered, and imagine in detail what that would look like and what you would be doing.
If you had completely moved on, what would you be doing differently? Try engaging in those behaviours now, even though you may not feel like it. Sometimes “faking it till you make it” does actually work.
Thanksbfor reading. Please share to educate others and don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section. See you next and have a blessed day.