Are you independent?
Being independent can have many definitions depending on the situation that is presented. For someone who has been single for a long time, this person might have gotten used to being independent and can come off as being too independent for a relationship. There can also be some people who are independent in many other things such as with their career but are clingy in their relationship and lastly, there are people who want to remain independent in a relationship which is what we are talking about. Which one are you?

Indelendent relationship

A Co-Independent Relationship:

A co-independent relationship is one in which in both parties understand that to be truly happy and fulfilled each individual must be true to and manifest his/her nature while supporting the other to do the same, in a climate of respect, appreciation, and love. The participants are free from the need or desire to control, non-judgmental, and clear on their goals and objectives while flexible on how to reach them. Co-independency guarantees that you will continue to support yourself in attracting, creating, and nourishing the perfect life partner and playmate.

How to be more independent in a relationship

Do you want to be independent in a relationship? Do you want to practice this so you can also have the base of independence in marriage? Like any other habit, it takes time and a firm mindset to be independent even if you are in a relationship.

1* Hang Out With Your Friends Without Your partner

Before you and your partner got together, you probably surrounded yourself with friends and family. It’s important to maintain those relationships even when you’re in a romantic relationship. You don’t want all of your happiness to depend on just one person. “You should also plan nights to hang out with your own friends and go out separately.

READ ALSO: INDEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP, HOW TO BE MORE INDEPENDENT, BENEFITS AND SIGNS

2* Don’t be scared to spend some time alone

Being alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have time for each other or you don’t love each other. In fact, time alone in a relationship can give you the time you need to relax. It’s not like relationships are toxic but having an alone time replenishes not just our mind but also our soul as well.

It’s a way for us to rethink our decisions, goals, and life as it is. It also gives us time to miss each other and allow us to make decisions by ourselves.

3* Learn To Love Yourself

Honestly, one of the most important relationships you have to continue to nurture is the one you have with yourself. Normally, no other relationship will work out if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. “Don’t forget to love yourself. You need to take care of yourself and your needs.

4* Have your own personality

Another thing to remember on how to remain independent in a relationship is to still have your own personality. When in love and in a relationship, we would want to change the bad traits of our partner right?

Though, losing yourself in the process isn’t healthy at all. You still need to have your own voice, your own opinion and make sure you stand firm on the things that you believe in.

5* Understand & Accept Your Partner’s Point Of View

It’s normal for couples to have a different point of view from each other, and these differences are a great way to establish independence. “Learning to recognize and understand and accept the other person’s point of v​iew, especially when it’s different from your own.

6* Learn to still enjoy the things that you love to do before

Travel alone; watch a movie, have sleepovers with friends and many more. Don’t rush into moving in together or getting married. Enjoy life, enjoy your career, set goals and live your life.

To be independent in a relationship also means you have to be reasonable and understanding.

You also have to work on yourself and your personal development so you can help each other as well. Remember that falling in love and being in a relationship should help you be a better person.

how to be more independent in a relationship

7* Learn To Recognize Your Own Emotions

Learning how to establish a sense of self is vital to helping you grow as an individual. You want to learn how to recognize your own emotions for situations where you need to stand up for yourself and make quick decisions when your partner isn’t available. “Learning to recognize your own ​emotions, and how to regulate yourself when your partner seems unreasonable, or is unavailable. Good ways to do this include a daily practice of meditation, calming breathing exercises, yoga, running, swimming or any other physical exercise that reliably produces a calming effect on your body.

READ ALSO: 16 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE STRONG AND HAPPY

Can I have independence and still keep my marriage?

If you expect no one should question whatever you do. It’s not possible to keep.

No one should point out your flaws. It’s not possible to keep.

If you Can’t accept your partner also wants same freedom and rights like you. It’s not possible to keep.

If you cannot accept a person as it is with plus and minus points. It’s not possible to keep.

If you think you can pick out your partner from his or her family and want to give him or her only restricted visiting rights. It’s not possible to keep.

If you want to force your partner to do what she or he can’t do or comfortable to do, it’s not possible to keep.

So Marriage do has certain rules and decoram. If you don’t want to abide, it’s not possible to keep.

Can too much independence hurt relationship?

Being independent is highly useful when you’re single. A certain amount of independence is also beneficial for you when in relationship. But too much independence might inhibit the inherent emotional tie to your partner. It’s natural to become emotionally interdependent in intimate relationships but if you’re too prone to “independence,” this natural state may become compromised.

We all hope to feel secure and safe in our relationships, especially the ones who matter the most to us. Every single human needs and/or longs for the safety in knowing, “you’ve got my back no matter what”. This need for connection is hard-wired into our primal survival brains regardless of your level of self-sufficiency. When we feel confident in knowing we can rely on our partner, this is called, “secure attachment

4 Reasons Why Independence In A Relationship Is So Important:

1* A Sense Of Independence In A Relationship Makes You More Emotionally Secure.

Emotional security or certainty works for and benefits both partners.
When a partner is emotionally secure, they’re not afraid to show their strength (confidence) and their softer side (vulnerability) at the same time.

Because each person’s sense of independence can help facilitate even more openness and honesty in the partnership.
No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay since their independence already shows that they’re able to take care of themselves.
Moreover, in spite of their independence, they’ve chosen to be with you.
Now, that’s scary, but it’s also very empowering.
Knowing that your partner is with you out of choice, because of their independence, and not for any other reason.
In a healthy relationship where independence is celebrated and encouraged, neither partner will feel threatened by their mate’s autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.

2* Independence Makes The Relationship More Intellectually Stimulating.

Becoming stuck in a rut and really experiencing growth as a couple can be very dangerous for the well-being of a relationship long-term.
Just from a purely basic human needs point of view, we all have some desire for variety, surprise, adventure, and risk in our lives.
That includes our relationships.
If things become stale and predictable, chances are that will start looking elsewhere to spice things up and bring some much sought-after release into our lives.

Can too much independency hurt relationship

3* Your Relationship Becomes Stronger.

When two independent people make a commitment to have a relationship, their time with each other becomes super special and sacred.
Like I said earlier, someone giving themself to you is a gift.
Because they’ve made an independent choice to do that.
And bringing independence into your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership since it’s built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.
You essentially give each other permission to be MORE of themself – not less.
I think that’s where a lot of people with either bad relations of experiences or distorted views of relationships have it wrong.

READ ALSO: WHEN DATING A SINGLE MOM, 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE DATING A SINGLE MOM


A relationship doesn’t imprison you.
The right relationship frees you up and gives you permission to explore and express dimensions of yourself far more than any other place in life because there is no fear of judgement, ridicule, embarrassment, or rejection.
Moreover, it provides you with all the support you need to discover and be ALL of yourself.
When a relationship doesn’t do that, you’re in the wrong one.
So independence in the right relationship only makes that relationship become stronger because it supports individual and collective growth (as a couple).

4* You Can Depend On Your Partner For Support When You Need It.

A relationship is, in essence, a partnership.
And knowing that you can count on your partner’s support does wonder for your own self-confidence and well-being.
But partners can only be truly supportive of one another when there is a sense of independence and individual well-being within a relationship.
If I constantly rely on my partner as my crutch, when the time comes for her to rely on me, I won’t be able to step up to the plate.
Having the confidence that your partner “is okay” without you while you’re at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
But also knowing that you can always rely on your partner to support you when needed, because “they are fine,” is equally empowering.

Thanks for reading, please share to educate others and don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section. See you next time and have a good day.